Fairy Tale Stew, Part Two: More Thoughts on “Once Upon a Time”

One of the annoying things about being sick for three weeks is you don’t really have time to write blog posts. One of the not annoying things about being sick for three weeks is you can catch up on some TV. One of the really annoying things about this weekend is me trying to pass off running commentary on the next three episodes of Once Upon a Time as a blog entry. The format is (+/-), because it’s fun. Minor spoilers, marked as well as I can.

EPISODE 4:

+ Yaaaaaay! So many female main characters! So much passing of the Bechdel test! It is very, very sad that this is novel and exciting for me, but it is!

– Gaaaaaaah! They used the (SPOILER)  “mother has sex instead of spending time with her kid = bad woman” trope. NO! I mean, I agree it’s not responsible parenting to lie to your child and to leave him on his own for the afternoon while you put your needs first. However, when your story suggests that the problematic part is not the neglecting and lying per se but neglecting and lying because you want to have sex, you are perpetuating the false dichotomy of sexy vs. motherly. Women can desire sex and still be good parents!

+ Yaaaaaay! Jennifer Morrison: still hitting ’em out of the park. To be balanced, aside from the badassery, I’ve realized that I might love her character and her acting particularly because Morrison is one of only two leads who never appear in the cheesy fairy tale scenes I find boring (the other being Jared Gilmore, who plays her son). But… yeah, I’m still watching this show 100% for Emma Swan.

– Gaaaaaaah! Why does so much of the fairy-tale imagery feel like it comes from somewhere else? Cinderella could’ve walked off the case of the old Disney VHS we had when I was a kid. I realize that Cinderellas look vaguely alike, but, really? From hairdo to gown to general facial features?

– Gaaaaaaah! Similarly, although this interpretation of Rumplestiltskin is at least visually unique, the concept feels like he walked out of Shrek 4. I refuse to believe there are no new possible interpretations of fairytales. Come on, designers/casting directors/writers!

– Gaaaaaaah! And while we’re on the topic of surprising me… I don’t mind writers saving their punches for the end, but I do mind when they do it at the expense of the story. Example: when Regina is leaving the bedroom of the person she just slept with, the camera and dialogue both go through contortions to avoid leaking her lover’s identity. THERE IS NO IN-STORY REASON TO DO THIS. Regina and her lover both know who the lover is. They presumably do not know they’re the object of scrutiny from TV viewers who want to know her lover’s identity. This scene is set up carefully not because of the characters and their drives but because of the writers and theirs. And since we can see that, we can guess who the lover is before the reveal anyway, so, writers,  save yourselves the trouble.

EPISODE 5:

+ Yaaaaaay! Oh no, they didn’t. Oh NO, they didn’t.

Oh yes, they TOTALLY DID just have a plot that can be summarized as “little Timmy’s trapped in the abandoned mineshaft.”

This show is amaz-HOLY CRAP, THERE’S EVEN A DOG COMING TO HIS RESCUE!

Man, how come this never happened on House?

+ Yaaaaaay! It may have taken 5 episodes, but they finally gave Lana Parrilla something nuanced to do…

– Gaaaaaaah! … but only for, like, five seconds.

+ Yaaaaaay! Kudos to the writers for handling what could have been the cheesiest scene of the series so far much more subtly than I expected. A fairy godmother who can hear people think a wish solves a lot of dialogue problems.

– Gaaaaaaah! Apparently, because I thought JMo was awesome last episode, this episode, Emma Swan is pretty much in the background and has to deliver some BS “I feel like his mother too” lines. Damnit, TV!

EPISODE 6:

– Gaaaaaaah! Is there some kind of “powerful woman” rulebook that I don’t know about? Because I feel like this show is systematically trying to tick every box for Regina. “Likes sex” – check. “Mother but doesn’t understand child’s needs” – check. And now, “has no female friends.” Well, to be fair, I kind of like the comedic idea that Regina’s suddenly like, “Um… I have a friend? I mean: I have a friend! What do friends do? Hmmm… help each other? That sounds right. So I’ll go do that the only way I know how: by yelling at other people in an inappropriately b*tchy fashion. All right! I am going to be the best friend ever!!!” But so far it’s not clear that the show’s playing it that way.

– Gaaaaaaah! Wait, what? King Midas is in this story? Did we run out of fairy tales already? ABC, do you see those droplets of water falling outside? That’s not rain. That’s Andrew Lang crying in heaven.

+- I honestly don’t know whether this bit of fairy-tale dialogue is Yaaaaaay! or Gaaaaaaah!

MALE CHARACTER: He was my son!
OTHER MALE CHARACTER: A son I gave you.

For a moment, I thought this series might head in an entirely new direction…

+ Yaaaaaay! I would watch a whole show of Emma Swan-talks-to-Mary-Margaret-Blanchard and Emma-Swan-talks-to-David-Nolan scenes.  The premise of a grown-up foster kid forging relationships with peers her own age who kinda-sorta-not-really-fairy-tale-stuff might be her “real parents,” and she sort of hopes they are, but she’s trying not to hope because that’s ridiculous and because believing it even for a second will make it more painful when it’s not true… etc. is so damn intriguing. Not to mention the awesome acting.

– Gaaaaaaah! re: the fairy tale-land plot, I don’t mind that I saw this show before, but what happened to all the musical numbers?

+ Yaaaaaay! This is maybe the first time I felt hooked by the storyline of the episode. The real-world storyline, of course, but still — this gives me hope for things to come. (And so does next week’s spoileriffic promo. Why would you say “a character…” in the summary text and then show which character you mean in the video?)

– Gaaaaaaah! I thought episode 4 was bad with its plot point of (SPOILER) “lookit the bad mother having sex’! But, no, this episode we get a character confronting Regina’s lover and getting all het up because apparently they had sex in Regina’s house while her son was OMG sleeping in his own room which is not Regina’s room and is nowhere near Regina’s room!!!one! WTF? As far as I understand it, yes, that’s what parents often do, much as their kids don’t want to hear about it. It’s not like Henry had to watch. It’s not like he was even awake. Again, why is having a kid + having a sex life a bigger deal to these characters than lying and neglect of responsibility?

+ Yaaaaaay! On the other hand, this is the first time in a while that I’ve seen an adult male character portrayed as close enough to his mother that he cries onscreen at the thought of never seeing her again — and we’re supposed to sympathize with him, not think he’s a pansy or a mama’s boy. Good.