Camelot! Camelot! Camelot!

(It’s only a model…)

When the Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, reached from the shining bosom of the water with the legendary sword Excalibur in her grasp, I said to myself, “Arthur, one of these days, this is going to come back to bite you in the butt.”

Oh, sure, at first everything was great: jousting, tournaments, picnics at the beach. But ooooh no, some people  just can’t leave well enough alone. One day this young punk Galahad – and who does this guys think he is, anyway? –  plunks himself down on the Siege Perilous, and the next thing you know, no more parties and softball games and Sunday-night BBQs, no – we all have to go find some stupid Holy Grail.

Well, I don’t. I’m the king. I sent these guys instead: (picture-heavy post follows)

TEAM ONE: The Frights of the Round Table

Just so you know, they made that jester hat and costume by hand. Kevin is a scientist who’s come back in time to study medieval life (according to Sarah L. G.).

TEAM TWO: The Knights Who Say Yari!

Note the Killer Bunny in the windshield of the car. Its ear is just peeking out over Heather’s shoulder.

TEAM THREE: The Fancy Men

It took me a while to “get” these costumes, but, see, Tyler is wearing a shirt with a giant spade on it, Scott’s shirt looks like clubs, and Wade’s has all the suits on it. They’re courtly cards!

TEAM FOUR: Uh… Team Four

[Team Four has indicated they’d prefer me not to post pictures of them, but imagine Jayson wearing a linen tunic with a red cross on it and Sheila in a green maiden dress with a crown of flowers and white elbow-length gloves. Yeah, that’s right.]

It should be noted that Sheila had a whole army of Crusader tabards ready to go. Alas, her plan to wander the streets of Ottawa with an army of loyal knights to do her bidding turned into wandering the streets of Ottawa with one loyal knight, and instead of taking over Canada, she had to settle for completing the treasure hunt.

Since only the most chivalrous of knights is capable of undertaking the quest for the Holy Grail, caution prevents me from detailing it here. Suffice it to say that it involved a sword in a stone (pyrite, to be precise):

… a secret ambush… *cue scary violin music and fog*

… by the Knights Who Say Ni!

There was high-tech puzzling…

… and exploration of downtown Ottawa…

… tough rebuses…

…and, above all, tense negotiations between teams for information and jewels.

But, of course, there could be only one winner, the team that learned first that the a spiritual object like the Holy Grail isn’t something you find out there. It’s something you make yourself. Every team was sufficiently pure of heart to achieve the grail in the end:

Coming in fourth place were the gallantly valiant Knights Who Say Yari!, who nevertheless won the MOST CREATIVE COSTUME prize (a trebuchet kit and little wooden cows) for their amazing T-shirts, headbands, and mascot:

The daringly chivalrous Fancy Men finished third only a few seconds earlier, and for their most interesting grail, they won… A SHRUBBERY!

(Yes, that’s the good picture .)

The nobly courageous Team 4 finished a few seconds before The Fancy Men; however, due to some confusion, their grail held a grapefruit rather than grape juice. They won the MOST ELABORATE COSTUME prize (a DVD and Black Knight kit) for their lovely get-up.

And finally, coming in at first place a full fifteen minutes before the other teams, the team that was not the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp, or to have their eyes gouged out, or their elbows broken, the bravely bold Frights of the Round Table!

Congratulations, Frights!

Afterward, there was much rejoicing, and the people feasted on the lambs, and sloths, and other things offered by the Mongolian Village while various non-questing peasants joined us for the celebration. Much thanks to all questing knights for their attendance and high spirits! Hope you all had as much fun completing the hunt as I had designing it! Those who are curious about detailed solutions or who wish me to remove photographs of themselves from this page ought to comment on this blog entry.

Otherwise, see you all next summer… in outer space: the final frontier. (Dun dun DUN!)