10 Things I Learned In 2025
Yes, I’m aware it’s been a hot minute since January 1. But sometimes things take time. And, for the first new year in a while, I wanted to set myself some goals, which is… tentatively a good thing? When I’m treading water just trying to keep my head up, I’m not looking for far-off shores on the horizon. But now, despite illnesses and parenting and work, I’m slowly able to look up and start swimming.
And also to glance over my shoulder and realize that, while I was focussed on staying afloat, I was still moving, even if it didn’t always feel like it.
Here are some of the lessons I left in my wake in 2025:
1. That using the half-power setting on the microwave cooks/reheats eggs way, way better.
This was a two-part lesson. First, I learned how to actually achieve this setting on the microwave we had, which I didn’t think was possible. Honestly, I’d never tried that hard, since I assumed that it didn’t make much of a different. But I had a recipe for microwave chawanmushi that called for half-power, and, to my surprise, it came out delicate and custardy, like silken tofu.
From there, it was a skip, hop, and jump to learning the second part of the lesson: half-power is key to reheating cooked eggs without them getting rubbery. This is now an essential part of my morning routine and lets me prep for early classes the night before. Fifteen extra minutes of sleep each morning!
2. How to un-shrink cotton sweaters
I was distraught to find that, between work stress and parent brain, I’d accidentally put one of my favourite polo sweaters through the dryer. The ostensibly long sleeves now ended above my wrists. And that colour and style was no longer available. In desperation, I searched the Internet…
… and learned that, uh, actually, if you soak natural fibres (like those of my cotton sweater) in water and then stretch them, they will stay stretched after they dry. Now the sleeves of my once-ruined sweater are actually longer than they used to be, and the crisis is averted.
3. That I can write OK short stories.
Short stories aren’t where my heart is, and I always figured it showed. I don’t like reading or writing them as much as I like reading and writing novels. I guess I forgot that I do still like them, and that I can have fun writing stuff that specifically isn’t going to be a long-term commitment.
Also, I forgot that, actually, I do and did read short stories–like, it somehow slipped my mind that I used to have a subscription to Ellery Queen Mystery Magazine* in high school?
4. How to identify boundaries for better work-life balance.
Not that I’m good at keeping them, mind you–and some of work (and life) is outside my control. But I can see what causes me the most stress and returns the least benefits, and I’m better able to actually consider whether I can/should take on new responsibilities instead of just assuming that anything that puts me in a better financial position is the better career choice.
5. That I can drive regularly.
Offspring needs to go to daycare every weekday. Driving Offspring to and from daycare every day on top of all the other childcare we share was wearing Husband out. To my pleasant surprise, settling into a routine where I drive Offspring about a third of the time was a lot easier, psychologically, than I expected. I’m still nervous about driving outside my familiar “routes,” but I’m getting better at that too.
6. Lots and lots about toddlerhood.
It boggles my mind how Offspring went from not being able to eat solid food to, like, talking and understanding how sarcasm works. I wouldn’t know how to begin to teach my kiddo all the new skills that have blossomed, seemingly on their own. At every stage of growth, I’m a little worried I’ll miss the previous one, but having a toddler is as hilarious and frustrating and wonderful as having an infant, just in different ways.
7. That banks can just add you to another person’s joint account without telling you?
I’m sure they’re not supposed to. But I found this out the hard way when I accidentally got added to a stranger’s joint account because (we think) they were trying to add a different person with a similar name and the bank employee got confused? Even the employee who eventually sorted this out for me wasn’t sure what had happened. No harm done to me or the other person, but still kinda wild to think that there aren’t more safeguards in place.
8. What jewelry I like to wear.
I always thought I didn’t enjoy wearing jewelry at all. But–you guessed it–once I learned about what’s marketed as “men’s” jewelry, I realized that I just hadn’t yet tried wearing jewelry that reflected my tastes. I do like wooden or gemstone bracelets and chunkier chain necklaces. (However, I’ve also learned, I have a limit for how long I’m willing to tolerate the feeling of beads on my wrist or metal against my neck.)
9. That you can tie a bandanna like a tie. (“The Faux Necktie“)
In other words, that I can wear a bandanna in the summer without looking like a Girl Guide and/or a kid pretending to be a cowboy.
10. How to see writing submissions as a numbers game.
In other words, how to recognize that, after a certain point, it really is about luck–luck that your story got in front of the right person on the right day when they were in the right mood, which maybe you could predict if you already knew lots of the right people very well, but which isn’t a realistic expectation for someone who’s starting out.
I used to know this but not believe it. What helped me actually believe it is seeing other peoples’ stories that I really, really like get rejected from places I thought would be lucky to have them. That made it hit home for me that getting rejected really isn’t about quality or doing something “wrong.” (Insert Captain Picard meme here.)
And here’s what I have in mind as learning goals for 2026…
1. How to take more time for writing. This is far easier said than done, given the commitments of work, parenthood, health, and community. But when I do make time, I can write a bunch and get excited about it.
2. How to get back into ice hockey. I was in a learn-to-play league I liked a lot before the pandemic. And then… well, yeah. Followed by pregnancy, infant, and toddler. I’ve accepted that I’m never going to see my registration fees from the Spring 2020 session I signed up for, and that I’m going to need to re-learn some skills. But I’m excited to get back on my skates!
3. How to drive on the highway. I write that like I’ve never driven on the highway before. I have! A lot! I just haven’t in a long time, and not in the much bigger city where I live now, where the highways are notoriously busy.
4. How to finish the watercolour painting advent calendar I’ve had since 2023. I’ve been pretty diligent about this one since the start of the year, actually. I might achieve it before I finish and post this blog entry. (ETA: I definitely did. Whoops.)
5. How to finish the make-your-own electronic games advent calendar I’ve also had since 2023. This should be fairly straightforward, but I’ve never got around to it. I hope all the components still work…
6. How to get back to novel writing. I wrote the first 18000 words of a novel that for some reason I decided to pants instead of plan, realized I didn’t like the direction I’d taken, also realized I have a toddler and omfg no time, and pivoted to short stories, which felt easier to write in limited windows. I’d like to return to that novel now. Maybe plan a bit more, because I’m me. (And also because it’s a complex mystery plot, which isn’t the easiest thing to pants.)
7. How to grow new plants in my garden. I’ve accepted that choosing my garden plants with the intent of replacing some groceries doesn’t work for us–we do eat yummy peas and beans and zucchini, but we can’t plan around our harvest. So instead of buying seeds based on what we like to eat, I’ve ordered some different varieties this year: new flowers, greens, and even mini-eggplants to try in the container on my balcony. We’ll see how things go!
8. How to perfect my work-morning breakfast routine. Reheating egg patties from frozen? Thawing them the night before? Pre-sliced cheese? Pre-mashed avocado? Whole frozen sandwiches? Time to experiment and report back!
9. Whether I enjoy the EXIT: The Game books. I’ve amassed a few of these escape-rooms-in-book-form as birthday and holiday presents, and I’ve yet to crack one open. I’m hoping they’re as fun as the advent calendars!
10. How to try at least one new local business/activity in person. I’m a homebody. In the moment, nothing in the wide world outside appeals to me as much as sitting in my comfy chair and reading by myself. But outside has fun things like friends and new food and interesting stores. So I’m going to shake off the inertia and try one of the places I’ve been meaning to visit, whether the café or Korean BBQ within walking distance from our apartment; the delicious-looking and well reviewed restaurant that’s been on my radar for a while; and/or fun Toronto events like a play at the Fringe.