10 Things I Learned About Wearing “Menswear”
4:33 PM
As the semester starts, I’m considering what I can do as an instructor to combat anti-Black racism in the classroom and the academy. Obviously, I can listen to the lived experience of folks and learn how to do my best to make my courses universally accessible–universal design helps everyone, and institutional barriers can disproportionately affect Black and Indigenous learners. But of course, I can always do better.
As you may have gathered from previous posts or just from knowing me in person, a lot of the clothing I prefer is explicitly designed for men. That means I had to learn a lot about style and shopping as I got more confident in my personal taste and how I wanted to present. Here are some of the things experience has taught me:
1. A lot of discount/surplus stuff is great for me.
One of my favourite places to buy ties and other menswear is Winners. Because I’m a different build and shape than many men, they often have cool things in my size.
Plus, I feel like because I’m open to more traditionally “femme” clothing created for men–like pastels and floral prints–I can find great stuff that society makes it tough for a lot of guys to wear. I hate wearing flowery skirts, but I love wearing pink-striped Oxford button-downs… or at least I would, if there were any in my size in a shade that flattered my skin tone.
I guess a better example might be, I love wearing my men’s-section T-shirt in a pink-and-white floral print on black, a garment that I actually own and not a random hypothetical button-down I made up for the sake of snappy writing.
2. Wearing clothing designed for men makes choosing a bra easier.
It’s no secret that a lot of clothing designed for women uses thinner fabric than those designed for men. This makes it way easier to choose a bra when I’m wearing a T-shirt created for men.
If I’m wearing a white T-shirt from the women’s section, the only colour I can wear underneath is nude: everything else shows through, even white. But if I’m wearing a white T-shirt from the men’s section, 75% of the time, I can wear a white bra underneath no problem. The fabric is thicker and more opaque, even though it’s the exact same colour. (I have to assume that this probably makes it better at UV/sunburn protection as well?)
3. Using a sewing machine is a must, and anything goes.
For a long time, I thought there were some secret, special rules that you had to use if you wanted to wear clothes you’d altered yourself. Like the one right way to hem pants or take in a shirt.
And there definitely are tried-and-true techniques. There are some skills you have to have, like being able to set up a sewing machine, measure/pin things the way you want, and knowing to go back and forth a couple times at the end of your stitch to keep it from unravelling. And there are best practices that skilled folks know how to use.
But really? If it works and doesn’t look terrible at a glance, then it works. Do I know how to open up the side seams of a shirt “properly”? Absolutely not, but I can still do it so that it fits. And that’s good enough for me.
(Besides, if I need guidance, I can just turn to Stylish D’s helpful YouTube channel.)
4. Slim ties are harder to find than you’d think.
You’re supposed to choose your tie width based on your face width and the impression you want to make. I very much prefer the look of slim ties with my face shape. Turns out, they’re more difficult to find than I would have assumed. I got the impression from fashion sites and celebrity photos that most ties are slim ties, but, nope, standard width is called “standard” for a reason.
5. Just because I like menswear doesn’t mean I like all menswear.
It took me a while to realize that when I try something on and don’t like it, it’s not necessarily because it doesn’t fit or because I don’t look good in “manly” clothes. It’s because I can prefer menswear in general and still think particular garments are just, super ugly.
(On me, anyway. I think we’ve all had the experience of seeing models who can make absolutely anything look good, even when part of our brain is actively like, “… that cut and those colours are objectively ridiculous, and I hate them.”)
6. Having favourite colours isn’t childish, it’s ~*~fashionable~*~.
So apparently, I’m a “cool winter,” which means different things according to different websites, but the point is, it turns out there’s a reason I like to dress like the song by Eiffel 65 is about me personally. There aren’t “boy” colours and “girl” colours or “bad” colours and “good” colours. There are colours that look great on me and colours that don’t look great on me. And no matter what cool outfits look awesome on different fashion sites, that pastel beige-y thing is never going to look the way I want on me, no matter how much I adore it on the model in the ad.
7. Shoes are comfier.
So many shoes designed for women are too narrow for my feet. They pinch my toes together. Although some shoes designed for men are also narrow, most are far and away more comfortable, giving my feet room to breathe and providing more support. And now that I have orthotics that actually fit me well, I can slip them into every shoe from sneaker to Oxford.
8. Some shops assume small size = short, which means long sleeves almost never fit.
Most shirts intended for men aren’t designed to be form-fitting. Their sides are cut straight and boxy rather than in contours more similar to those of many human bodies. Because I prefer my clothing to be form-fitting, I therefore tend to size down, especially when buying stretchier garments like T-shirts. This means that in women’s sizes, I’m often a medium or a large, but in men’s, I’m often an extra-small.
The problem with this (apart from the implicit messages about the “right” type of body for people of all genders, but that’s a lot of clothing sizes in general) is that most mass-market clothing doesn’t distinguish between needing a garment to be longer and needing a garment to be wider. I consider myself fortunate when I find a extra-small shirt that both fits the width of my torso and is long enough not to be an inadvertent crop top.
It’s also why it’s difficult for me to find long-sleeved T-shirts designed for men that fit me: I need an XS body with S or even M sleeves to actually reach my wrists. If I pick the size that isn’t obviously too small somewhere, there’s always a baggy area in the armpits. Even brands that fit me perfectly with short sleeves never quite work out in long.
9. Trouser fit isn’t an issue.
Most jeans and chinos from the men’s section fit me fine, without any issues you might think could crop up due to, ahem, anatomical differences. I don’t have problems with extra space in the crotch area–in fact, a lot of stretchier/tighter pants fit like they were made for me. (People with penises, how is it not painful for you to wear these???)
I do have to be careful about leg length, though. A lot of trousers made for men are too short for me, because it turns out I have disproportionately long legs, I guess? I need to check the inseam, especially if I’m shopping from companies or in locations where the average man’s height is shorter than mine.
10. Find your store(s).
For a long time, I thought that clothing designed for men could never fit me the way I wanted, and I’d just have to make do with almost-right fit. Then I realized that different brands–gasp!–use different fabrics, different sizing, and different cuts.
I don’t like trying stuff on in dressing rooms (remember when we used to do that before COVID? Ha ha ha!), but I started to understand that it was a necessity. Certain products and certain brands work for me; others don’t. The only way to determine which is which is to check.
(Incidentally, it can be confusing and nerve-wracking to try on clothing in stores that divide their dressing rooms into “Men’s” and “Women’s.” Am I supposed to choose the dressing rooms that match the designation of the clothing I’m trying on so it’s easier for clerks to put it back when I’m done? Or am I supposed to choose the dressing rooms that match my own gender to avoid making other customers uncomfortable? What do I do if I’m trying on clothing from both the men’s and women’s sections?)
For me, personally, Abercrombie & Fitch fits so well that I am a walking billboard for the late 90s, but I like Uniqlo and Muji too.