Hooray for Chanukah!

That is the title of the Paul Zim cassette tape my family plays every Chanukah. If you are not Jewish (or if you are Jewish but aren’t a dork), you are probably wondering who the heck Paul Zim is. That is what Google is for.

The thing about Chanukah is it doesn’t have pretty English-language songs like Christmas does. No “Little Drummer Boy” or “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen”; no, we get “I Had a Little Dreidel”, a bit of Adam Sandler, and, if we’re lucky, a popular song with the lyrics redone (I’m looking at you again, Zim! “Eight Days of Chanukah”… to the tune of “Those Were the Days, My Friend”???). You know? The kind of songs that get sung by first-graders as they do a little dance at the school assembly and show off the fine candle-flame paper hats they made after naptime.

It’s not that I particularly mind any individual song. I just mind the face of Judaism that they seem to collectively present to the other Canadians.

As most Jews will tell you, Chanukah is not an important holiday. It’s like the St. Patrick’s Day of Judaism: sure, if you dig, there’s spiritual meaning, but, if you had to give up a holiday and chose it, God probably wouldn’t care. According to the rabbis, there is an obligation to light candles and publicize the miracle*, but the Big Guy Up High never said a word about it. I wouldn’t want to say Chanukah has little meaning to all Jews, but it’s certainly small beans compared to important holidays like Passover, Shavuot, and Succot, or the High Holidays, or the Sabbath**.

The trouble is, nowadays, Chanukah isn’t really Chanukah. It’s more like either Pseudo!Christmas or the AntiChristmas. Sometimes, it’s both: you feel like you have to celebrate something that’s kind of like Christmas just to explain to everyone else why you’re not actually celebrating Christmas. It’s the “Sorry, can’t help you carry that, my hands are full” of being a religious minority in the Western world. And, because of that, Chanukah needs to be ostentatious, not in the publicizing-the-miracle way the rabbis wanted but in the secular, commercial way that Christmas is.

You’d have a hard time gleaning the story of the Nativity from hearing “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” or seeing Coke ads with a smiling Santa Claus. Likewise, being encouraged to “Put on your yarmulke/ it’s time for Chanukah” is fun, but it doesn’t convey the significance of the holiday. And I guess that worries me because, yeah, clearly, I’m Jewish, but also because Canadians and Americans don’t get their understanding of Christianity from songs on the radio or store-window displays, but the Christmas season is the time of year when being a Jew (or a Moslem, or a Hindu, or a pagan…) is most conspicuous. It’s the time when minority religions stand out. And I really don’t want someone to look at the giant electric chanukiah standing outside the JCC, sing, “Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel”, and think they understand Judaism. I certainly don’t assume that all*** my observant Christian friends’ deepest theological beliefs revolve around sitting on Santa’s lap at the mall and drinking eggnog****. I’d be pretty offended on their behalves if someone suggested such a thing.

It seems to me that the attempt to popularize Chanukah is well-intentioned but somewhat misguided. Implicit in it is the hint that it’s normal to celebrate SOMETHING this time of year*****. You get it hammered home in the TV specials and seasonal movies, too: if someone doesn’t want to celebrate Christmas, it is because they are a bad person who can’t understand love and joy (eg. Ebenezer Scrooge, the Grinch, the mean old businessman who wants to shut down the orphanage, etc.). Not wanting to be part of holiday cheer is a character flaw.

It’s not that I begrudge those who celebrate Christmas their merrymaking. It’s great to see people smiling at each other and kids’ eyes gleam with anticipation. (Hey, I enjoy Schadenfreude as much as the next person, but I’m not completely inhuman.) I just wish people would acknowledge and respect the idea that it’s okay not to be in the “holiday spirit”. That, you know, some people are different. That Chanukah is no more “the Jewish Christmas” than Christmas is “the Christian Kwanzaa”, and that’s cool.

I was trying to think of a good way to end this entry, mostly because I am tired and want to go to bed. So, I’ll leave you with the immortal words of Paul Zim: “Eight in all, a full menorah/Sing out loud and dance the hora/Praise to those who study Torah” [AKA, the “what else rhymes with ‘ora'” stanza?]

* The lowdown on Chanukah is the same as the lowdown on most Jewish holidays: they tried to kill us, they didn’t, let’s eat. In this case, “they” are the Greeks/Syrians/Romans (depends on which Hebrew teacher you ask); the Maccabees, a family of Jewish freedom fighters did as freedom fighters are wont to do and led the fight for religious freedom (according to the story, anyway. Not quite so simple historically.). They redeemed the Holy Temple, where menorah in which the Eternal Flame was supposed to burn had been extinguished. It burned olive oil, but there was only enough for one day. However, that tiny amount lasted for eight days until more oil could be made. AKA: a MIRACLE. You heard it here first, folks.

** In Judaism, the Sabbath is like the Joker in the deck: it trumps everything. No matter what.

*** But, hey, if yours do, I’m not judging.

**** Or even both at the same time!

***** Well, in a sense, I guess Christmas suffers from that, too, since Jesus seems to have been born in August yet had his birthday party mysteriously moved to December to coincide with pre-existing winter solstice festivities …