7 Things Helping Me With Social Distancing

Like many of you (I hope), I’m practicing social distancing in the hopes of flattening the COVID-19 curve. That is, I’m not leaving our apartment unless I need to for food, for medicine, or to take out the trash; I’m taking precautions like staying 2m away from other people if I do; and if I feel sick, no matter what, I’m staying inside our suite .

I’m doing this in the hope of slowing the rate of spread of the virus so that the total number of cases at any one time will stay within the coping abilities of our healthcare system. With access to treatment, those sick with COVID-19 have a much better chance of recovery.

(There are lots of great online resources on what guidelines to follow for effective social distancing. Follow your local public health service’s recommendations, and support the folks who can’t isolate themselves for financial, familial, community, or other reasons.)

And… it’s hard. Changes are hard. New restrictions are hard. Daily practices we took for granted have become a danger to ourselves and our communities, and the mental shock is disorienting. It’s hardest of all not to know when this new, limited life will end, and what (if anything) will have changed when it does.

So, I’m going to list a few things that are helping me stay mentally and physically healthy through this enforced time at home, with the understanding that what works for me may not work for you. I’m a mildly asthmatic introvert who also has some chronic pain issues; I have mild depression, especially when I have less exposure to sunshine than usual. Maybe you like what I like, maybe you don’t; either way, I hope this blog entry at least relieves you of boredom or loneliness while you read it.

Here are the things helping me right now:

1. Being deliberately grateful.

It’s unfortunately easy to get caught up in thinking of all the things I wish I could do right now but can’t. When I catch myself missing playing hockey or getting frustrated that I can’t pick up my package stuck in post-office limbo (or, you know, wishing this whole thing was a terrible nightmare and nobody would get sick or die), I gently turn my thoughts to all the things I’m fortunate to have that make social distancing easier.

For instance, I’m lucky that I know how to cook and bake. I’m grateful that my employer and union support me working from home, and that I am in a financial position to have my own home office. I live with a spouse that I both like and love. I have a close, wonderful family who stays in touch.

Note that these are all things I do have that I’m glad for–I’m glad that we do have a dishwasher, not that we don’t have to wash all our dishes by hand. Being grateful not to be in worse circumstances doesn’t work for me. First, that raises fears of what might happen (I might lose X, Y or Z!) instead of allowing me to appreciate what is happening. Second, it’s no good to rely on other people having it worse in order to feel better. I don’t want anyone to have it worse–I want all of us to have good things!

What great fortune it is that I live in a time when the technology is available to let me speak to friends, family, and colleagues in real time from hundreds of kilometers away–to see their faces, hear their voices, collaborate on work, share documents, videos, and pictures! And how lucky am I that I have the resources to use this technology whenever I need to?

2. Staying active.

Before social isolation, I went to the gym 2-3 times a week and played sports twice a week. Now the gym is closed, and sports leagues are on hiatus.

So I’ve switched to bodyweight and resistance-band exercises in our apartment. I am fortunate (see above) that I was able to splurge on a pull-up bar, more resistance bands, and an inflatable balance-trainer. Between these, I’ve been able to get a full workout regularly and keep up with my physio exercises.

This keeps me hydrated and healthy, and I’ve learned that my muscles can be just as sore after resistance band exercises as they are after free weights. I’ve had to modify some routines, but overall, working toward my fitness goals keeps me positive.

3. Getting fresh air.

When I commuted and did regular errands, I walked a lot each day. Obviously, I can’t really do that now, not when I live in a condo building with shared elevators and would have to walk around a relatively dense residential neighbourhood. We do have to go downstairs to take out recycling/organics (and get our mail at the same time), but to protect ourselves and our community (lots of older residents!), we’re doing our best to minimize elevator use. (Also, the morning I’m typing this, it reverted from “sunny spring!” to “everything’s covered in snow again!”)

But we’re lucky to have a balcony where we can chill (literally, as of the end of March). And when we don’t want to sit out there, we can open the windows to air out the apartment. Even opening the blinds to let in the sunshine (… or lack thereof) helps a lot.

4. Planning social time

As long as phones work and/or the Internet is up, I’m fortunate that I can reach out to my friends and family. I’m trying to make it a loose goal to write to or talk to or text at least one “new” person a day. I’m lucky that I have so many friends I care about that it will take me a good long time to do this–especially because of course I talk to some friends more often.

We’re having online dinner parties where we drink and snack and chat with each other through screens. We’re getting set for online board-game nights. We’re planning an epic virtual seder with the extended family who would never be able to make it to one city and fit at one table in meat-space.

Zoom, Google Duo, Google Meet, Facebook Messenger, Steam, Signal, Whatsapp–so far, every app has helped connect us across distance.

5. Stepping away from screens.

However, because work, errands, and leisure are all mostly on my phone or desktop now, I need to remind myself to take breaks from them.

I have books from the library, both hardcopy and virtual (sorry, folks who were also waiting for the last volume of Libba Bray’s Diviners series… I’d return it for you if the libraries were open and I could!). I have my own books. I have craft projects (re-purposing old belts to fix the leather zipper pulls on my commuter backpack, decorating a fabric square for the canopy for my sister’s wedding) and cooking projects. We have board games and card games. I have activity books full of puzzles to solve and notebooks to write and draw in.

It’s important for me to block time out for these things as well.

6. Wearing summer clothes.

Outside, it’s still wintery. Inside, it’s a comfortable temperature, and, if I close my office door when I’m on confidential work calls, it’s downright hot. So I decided to roll out my shorts.

It’s practical: I’m not sweating through my outfit as I talk with colleagues and students, and my camera shows me only from the shoulders up.

Once I brought out my shorts, I decided to roll out all my summer clothes–the brighter, lighter colours that I reserve for the summer months.* It turns out that these clothes I associate with the end of semester and sunshine and family visits do a lot for my mood, not to mention my comfort.

7. Making up end dates

Realistically, nobody knows when this severe social distancing is going to end. This was really stressing me out at first, because I take pleasure and solace in planning ahead. I’d rather know for sure that something is cancelled than spend the months leading up to it wondering if it will run and mentally preparing for both eventualities.

To that end, I decided to treat waiting out social isolation like waiting for the bus.

In Toronto, digital signage at bus stops and Google Maps both estimate how many minutes before the next bus arrives. Are they accurate? A lot of the time. But I’ve noticed I feel better about waiting when I anticipate a finite wait time–in fact, I’m sometimes happier when I “know” the next bus is coming in 10 minutes than when I wait only 5 minutes but have no information to guide me. And if that 10-minute bus turns into a 15-minute bus, I can adjust more easily. If it arrives in just 5 minutes, I feel pleasantly surprised.

So now, in my head, I’ve decided to act as though this social distancing will end May 31. If it ends sooner, great–what a pleasant surprise (and hopefully good outcome for the community). If it ends later, well, I can mentally propose a new end date, and act accordingly, just like I do when the bus hasn’t arrived in 10 minutes so I tell myself I’ll wait another 10.

* It’s not so much that I couldn’t wear any of this stuff during other seasons, it’s that I’ve learned that setting aside “summer”/”winter” clothes and not touching them or looking at them until the new season brings me a little joy when my schedule shifts from term to summer break or vice versa. It feels like getting a whole bunch of new clothes all at once without wasting resources or money #lifehack