How Steven Universe Helps My Mental Health

“Well, what if something good happens?”

Among the many improvements to my mental health for which I have to thank Steven Universe, the above quote ranks pretty high. It further develops a theme present in songs like “Here Comes a Thought” and “Let’s Only Think About Love”–the theme of acknowledging negative thoughts and choosing to focus instead on positive ones.

(spoilers for 5×17 “Can’t Go Back”, plus minor spoilers for specific scenes from 4×04 “Mindful Education”, 3×11 “Beach City Drift”, and 2×01 “Full Disclosure” if you, you know, click on links to videos)

Steven’s friend Lapis is scared. She’s run away from the rest of the Crystal Gems out of fear that the antagonists who inflicted traumatic damage on her thousands of years ago might return and inflict it all over again. She has good reason to think this–in fact, it’s the reasonable assumption to make.

When Steven finally finds Lapis and tries to persuade her to return to their friends, she lists all the terrible outcomes of the bad guys finding them (and her). She describes one terrible situation after another. “What if something bad happens?” she concludes.

“Well, what if something good happens?” Steven gently suggests.

Ultimately, Lapis doesn’t return to the others with him that episode. But Steven’s words still affect her, as her actions show later in the series.

And they definitely affect me.

I know I’m risk-averse. I don’t like to leap before I can look, whether the stakes are low, as in a video-game platforming level, or high, as when making career, family, and relationship choices. Saying “no”–sticking with the same-old-familiar–is easier than trying new things. If something goes wrong, at least my problems will be ones I already know.

That means my inclination is, like Lapis, to list worst-case scenarios and worry about disasters: What if I can’t shoulder new responsibilities at work? What if it turns out that our new neighbours hate us? What if my salary changes and we’re stuck in a 25-year mortgage?

What if something bad happens?

But, watching Steven Universe reminds me, what about the good results of changes?

What if I impress my colleagues and employers? What if it turns out that our new neighbours like us and we become great friends? What if I start earning more money as the years go by?

Focusing on the good (even when it’s just a possibility) instead of the bad is no world-shattering innovation. Some people learn it from therapy, spiritual/religious leaders, or elders. Others develop the strategy on their own as a form of self-care. Steven Universe isn’t inventing a Brand New Secret that Doctors HATE.

It is, however, presenting it in a way that reaches me, specifically, when other voices haven’t before.

I like how Steven and the Gems don’t dismiss each others’ fears; I like how they don’t deny that bad things exist, and that sometimes we have to think about them. What Steven emphasizes is that thinking only of bad things all the time isn’t any more productive than ignoring the bad things completely. We get to take care of ourselves and our feelings when we need to. We get to decide whether right now is the most appropriate time to worry. We get to be kind to ourselves even when we have responsibilities to uphold and problems to deal with.

It’s especially important to me personally that these messages come in the form of a story about characters I like and admire. Stories catch my imagination and emotions in a different way than health care, professional advice, and real-life support. When I’m bored or have a problem, I don’t imagine what a friend would do, I imagine what the fictional characters in my mental pantheon would do.

Up until Steven Universe, a lot of those characters have been negative voices.

The fun of some stories is watching super-humanly capable individuals blast their way through obstacle after obstacle with unnatural stamina and unwavering ideals that are impossible to uphold in real life. Those are great to read or watch! They can be fun, providing escapism or wish-fulfillment or hero-worship or catharsis. Sometimes simplifying the world is necessary to tackle certain kinds of ideas, and those ideas are exciting to consider. I love these stories!

But the characters in them aren’t always the greatest mental-health role models, to put it lightly. Updated Holmeses like Sherlock Cumberbatch and Gregory House subscribe to toxic neo-Enlightenment ideas about feelings. Angsty Mulders and Scullys wallow in their negativity instead of pursuing help, convinced that the only way to be a hero is to suffer.

Nobody teaches Professor Snape productive coping strategies for his bitterness and grief or gives Harry Potter the emotional tools to unpack his feelings about his dead parents; the Enterprise-D does have a dedicated ship’s counselor whom the rest of the crew respects and consults, but she serves more as a sounding board for exposition than as an actual source of helpful strategies.

When I imagined what the characters I love would tell me in response to problems I face, the answer their stories told me they’d give was always the same: Stop complaining and focus on getting the job done! You feel bad? That doesn’t matter when there’s a problem to solve!

Because, ultimately, that’s how they handle their own crises. Baked into their universes is the assumption that being kind to yourself in a bad situation is in conflict with doing the right thing. It’s retreating.

Steven Universe offers a different model. For Steven, being kind to yourself is a tool that you use to do the right thing. He rejects what House and even Dumbledore seem to claim–that setting aside the problem to focus on your own needs, even for a moment, is wrong. Instead, the Crystal Gems demonstrate, purposeful and temporary focus on things that aren’t problems is necessary. Not taking care of yourself and your feelings isn’t selfless heroism; it’s weakness, fear, and sometimes even selfishness.

Through words and actions, Steven points out that it’s OK to acknowledge problems without facing them right here, right now, especially if they’re problems too big for one person to fix. It’s OK to have bad feelings and for those feelings to hurt us… and when those feelings prevent us from being the person we want to be at this moment, there are tools to help us.

Tools like deliberately shaking up patterns of thought, choosing to direct ourselves gently toward the way we want to feel (“There’s an awful lot of awful things we could be thinking of/But for just one day let’s only think about… love!”) Like forgiving ourselves for our own shortcomings so we have the foundation to do better, accepting that we can’t change other people into who we want them to be, and trusting ourselves with feelings instead of cutting off relationships with others.

And, of course, actively reminding ourselves to choose positivity when we need to.

After all, what if something good happens?