New Year’s 2019: 2 Fast 2 New Years

It’s that time of year again! The time when we all get to see how over-optimistic I was last January! 

Here we go with my goals for 2018:

1. How to better understand spoken German.

Starting in March, I began listening to a learning German podcast every weekday: Slow German. It’s not as effective as an actual German conversation, since, as with most podcasts, I listen to it while doing something else. Optimistically, I’d say I could understand about a third of it — and that’s when playing it at half-speed even though it’s already purposely “slow.” Still, I learn new things about German culture, public figures, and phrases, so I must be understanding more than I think.

After our honeymoon, I changed up my daily routine, but continued trying to take in actual spoken or written German regularly, not just flashcard-style lessons. I particularly enjoy the mix of phrases, vocabulary, cultural knowledge, and grammar lessons from the podcast Coffee Break German. It started off sehr leicht and got schwerer as it continued.

2. How to write (and submit) at least one new short story.

I thought this would be a lot easier than it was. In fact, I’m not sure why it wasn’t. I’ve been mulling over several short story ideas for a while.

Sometimes, the tough part isn’t gaining traction with a story. It’s that there’s too much traction, so that moving forward seems to require an unsurmountable amount of effort. I started a story in the fall, but working on novel revisions instead felt so freeing that I switched my energy to that. And I feel… pretty okay about it? I like writing, and that’s what I get to do, so… yeah.

3. How to ski

We tried (thanks, Dave)! But somehow the day we planned so carefully was the only day that the weather made it too bad not only to go skiing, but also to go snowshoeing nearby. We did see a bird-rescue raptor-and-owl zoo, though. That was fun.

4. How to drive by myself in Toronto.

I got stuck at the top of our ridiculously steep driveway when it was snowing. I got honked at a bit. But I drove the simple route from our building to my hockey practice/games. Now to keep it up. (And maybe consider therapy specifically for driving-related anxieties.)

5. The content of at least one online math course.

Enh… I was all fired up about this one when I added it, but it very quickly became clear to me that if I carried through with it, I’d do so only in order to cross it off my list. Which sounded like a big ol’ waste of time for everyone involved, because, hey, life’s short. Not completed, not sorry.

6. Everything in the Truth and Reconciliation Commission executive summary.

I finally finished this at the end of August. Very important reading for any settler Canadian who cares even a little bit about what it means to live here and what is necessary to develop an ethical, healing future from our racist, genocidal past and present. For me, it makes me think carefully about how to change my actions as an individual Canadian citizen, as a writer trying to reflect the world I live in, and as a post-secondary educator teaching a subject fraught with cultural assumptions.

7. Whether consistent use of my therapy light helps me through the winter.

I used my therapy light for half an hour every single morning except the one after my wedding when we didn’t have thirty minutes to spare before we had to get to out-of-towners brunch and then another when I decided it was probably spring but turned out to be wrong.

Is it the light? Is it having a routine? I don’t know, and I don’t care. It helps, and that’s all I need.

I was worried I wouldn’t know when to stop using it, but, as it turns out, biology was pretty clear about that — it happened naturally in late April.

8. What going to Disneyland is like!

Well, what going to a Disney theme park is like. Full disclosure, I still don’t know what “going to a Disney theme park when one is not sick” is like. But Husband and I had a great time even so when we visited Tokyo DisneySea on our honeymoon. I went on my first dark ride, which was much less scary than I was worried it would be.

9. How to play sports I haven’t touched since gym class.

It turns out that the timing of the All Sorts of Sports league didn’t work out for enough people at the same time. But I did join a rec soccer league. I have played soccer since gym class — I was part of my grad-residence rec team about a decade ago, and I played house league until my early teens — but I’ve still been out of it long enough that, holy cow, cleats are made of strange new space-age materials now? Anyway, I am constantly frustrated by the gap between what I want to do/know how to do/used to be able to do and what I can do, but it’s great fun getting back in the game.

I’ve also been watching a lot of football on TV, because when I’m down, I like watching people play outside on sunny fields. That made me want to play some pick-up flag football. My first attempt to organize got rained out, but I’ve got the flag belts, I’ve got the ball — watch out, everyone!

I also need to face the facts that playing some sports is too painful now — volleyball and softball don’t agree with the nerve problems in my arms, for example. Dodgeball with strangers is a bad idea too, considering I bruise painfully if another floor hockey player so much as grazes my skin with a shot. So maybe joining an official league isn’t the answer for me.

Still, I’d like to pick up badminton, handball, kickball, inner-tube water polo, squash, basketball, tennis, and all those other games that aren’t actual sports that we played in gym class, like doctor ball and prison dodgeball. Only I don’t want to commit to a whole season for each of them.

10. How to actually get married!!! 

Yup.

For 2019:
1. How to own a condo or other residence. Ha ha ha… welcome to Toronto. This is gonna be tough, particularly as I need subway access to get to work and walkability to run errands, and Husband needs major driving route access.
2. Enough German to pass the A1-level exam. I think… I might be there already? The online placement stuff wanted me to take B-level classes. Except I need some practice to learn how to do exam questions and not just Duolingo questions, and I want to actually learn German, not just how to pass a test.
3. How to finish another MG manuscript. This one is kind of weird… it’s about regrets and getting old and death but also ghosts and Jewish superheroes? I’m looking forward to puzzling it out.
4. How to do at least one unassisted pull-up. I’ve been working toward this since May… albeit unsteadily, since it’s harder to find gym time after the school year starts. If only my legs weren’t so disproportionate and therefore heavy compared to the rest of my body. Bah.
5. How to play pick-up flag football. Coming for you as soon as the snow melts, friends!
6. Whether I can set up all the slideshows and lesson plans for my courses before the first class. I. Need. This.
7. How to do a squat with a loaded bar. My biggest issue with squats seems to be balance, not weight. (Although I guess strength also affects balance.) Anyway, I’m slowly building up the ability to do weighted squats with kettlebells. Eventually, I’ll move to an unloaded bar (I hope) and work up from there.
8. How to deadlift my body weight. I’m already over halfway there. Just need to make sure I don’t injure myself by being extra careful about my form.
9. How to get better at engaging with land acknowledgement and other settler ethical responsibilities. I’m doing my best, but all that means is I’m doing what I can today. If I work on taking responsibility for my own education, I can increase my capacity to do right in better ways. And there is plenty of room for me to grow. I can be better tomorrow.
10. How to make Yorkshire puddings from scratch. In muffin tins, because nuts to buying a special popover pan for one recipe.