10 Important Things I Learned From BBC’s Luther
So I’ve been watching the first series of the BBC’s Luther on Netflix to relax between marking, writing, and lesson-planning. Brilliant loose-cannon DCI John Luther (Idris Elba) butts heads with his boss and his colleagues while trying to win back his estranged wife and not get in trouble for losing his temper with Bad Guys Who Really Deserve It.
The show’s great, so far — I’m a little more than halfway through. Even better, it’s already taught me a few things: (minor spoilers ahead)
1. Idris Elba is pretty awesome.
All right, I’m cheating; I knew that already from The Wire.
2. It is really easy to get your mental voice talking with an accent that is not your own and really difficult to get it to shut up.
Seeing as how this is a British show set in London, everyone speaks with British accents. Luther in particular has one of the ones that turns “th” sounds between two vowels into “vv” sounds — what I would pronounce “bruh-ther” becomes “bruhvva,” for example. I’m no expert on dialects, but, damn, it’s tough to make my brain stop talking like him after watching an episode or two.
Once, as part of a high school drama project, I spent an entire day talking in my best approximation of the Queen’s English. This is definitely worse.
3. Never let anyone into your house ever, unless you either have slept with them or are a murderer yourself, and sometimes not even then.
Whenever we see anyone let anybody into their home, that person winds up dead by the end of the episode, and usually by the end of the scene. The only exceptions: sometimes the murderer lets a victim into his or her home, and that’s OK. Sometimes Luther, Luther’s estranged wife, and Luther’s estranged wife’s boyfriend let each other into their homes, and that’s OK. Apparently, as long as you’ve boned the other person, you can assume they are not there to kill you, because it’s never actually the husband/wife/significant other in an interesting crime show.
4. Always ask everyone for ID before you allow them to assume authority.
Do not let police into your house (see above) unless they show you their ID first. Do not get in a taxi without demanding to see the driver’s license.
Look, anyone can be a convincing authority figure. For goodness’ sake, even actors can do it. Look at them!
Stay safe.
5. Never be a woman unless you are also a murderer.
It’s kill or be killed out there, ladies, and frankly, our best chance of survival is to be the one doing the killing. It is not a good idea to be a woman on this show. ‘Cause, really, who cares about a predator who preys on dudes? NO-BODY!
(Well, I suppose the answer is that Luther doesn’t, because he’s got all these issues about his romantic life. That’s almost a reasonable excuse, show. Still kind of sketchy, though.)
Or else you can be a hard-as-nails police administrator. Only presumably, you still have to do the kill-or-be-killed thing until you finally make it. DSU Teller probably has a bunch of bodies in her backyard.
6. The best bromance is troubled genius police detective + narcissistic genius killer.
It’s all kind of “Hello, Clarice” with half of the creepiness replaced with Odd-Couple hijinks.
Only half, though.
7. Colourblind/genderblind casting without it being a “thing” works awesomely.
Even though there are a bunch of white dudes in supporting roles and far fewer women of colour than one might hope, it’s still really nice that we don’t stop the action all the damn time to be like “Luther’s BLACK! Teller’s a WOMAN! I bet someone else is even GAY! OMG WE ARE SO PROGRESSIVE (except by making this deal about it, we actually are not)!!!” The demographics of the cast inform their portrayal of their characters but aren’t made by the writing or direction to limit the kinds of people those characters can be.
8. Cop shows don’t have to be about rescuing the victim to be interesting.
I haven’t precisely calculated their batting average, but DCI Luther’s buds are pretty close to 0-for-everything. That’s not exactly reassuring.
It’s a refreshing contrast to the billions of shows where Sherlock Holmes or the CSI folks rescue victim after victim in the nick of time, and it does raise the stakes when we know that this show can and does let innocent people die. But the show loses its tension when you realize that, yeah, most of the victims are going to die, and the pendulum of suspense swings back the other way.
Still, Luther manages to avoid going stale by concentrating on the police characters’ reactions to the deaths instead of their race to prevent the deaths. The big plot question isn’t “Can Luther save this innocent girl?” but instead “Can Luther handle it if he doesn’t?” and “What will he do then?”
9. Learn to recognize “turn around so I can kill you” face.
“Yes… yes… I changed my mind, I would like a drink *deathly pallor maniacal fake smile* Please go ahead and get me one… I am definitely not waiting for you to turn around so I can strangle/shoot/stab you.”
NO. Do not get the crazed upset man a drink. Do not turn your back on him. Or, if you must, for goodness’ sake, install mirrors by your bar.
Why does anyone become a minor villain without learning to spot this lethal scenario?
10. Bring your cell phone everywhere, and always answer it immediately.
Also, have the cops on speed-dial. First, you never know when the police are going to try to notify you to make sure that the crazed psycho-killer doesn’t take you next. Second, if he or she does kidnap you, at least the police will know where you are. Third, if you’re, say, stuck in the backseat of fake taxi cab that actually belongs to an aforementioned crazed psycho-killer, call 911/999. (Call both if you think it will help!)