The Rules of the Sport
This blog entry is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 Unported License. (That pretty much means you can copy it, re-post it, link to it, change it, do whatever, as long as you point out that the original came from here/me and you don’t make money off it. Why? ‘Cause I want people to play with, darn it!)
These are the rules of the Sport. I made it up. It’s kind of like Mao, but you play on a field. This entry will probably change as I actually get to play it (read: if enough of my friends are cool enough to join a game!), since sometimes rules need to be adjusted to make gameplay more fun.
The only rule of Mao is you can’t tell anyone any of the other rules. But everything has to start somewhere. In the Sport, there are a body of core rules that I think at least one person on every team has to know; if one team starts off knowing more rules than the others, that’s unfair. Thanks to Jenny W. for suggesting a mechanism to deal with that! So, without further ado…
THE RULES
Equipment:
– One ball of any size
– Things to mark four goals
– A space to play
– Whistles for every player
– Any other piece of sports equipment, games, toys, music etc. that you think might be fun
Players:
4 equal teams (RED, BLUE, YELLOW, and GREEN) of at least 3 players each
Set-up:
1. Mark four equal-sized goals somewhere along the edge of the field. Assign each team to a goal.
2. Assign the names of the three opposing teams to different players on your team. (eg. If you’re on team GREEN, you need a player assigned RED, a player assigned YELLOW, and a player assigned BLUE; if you’re on team RED, you need a player assigned YELLOW, a player assigned BLUE, and a player assigned GREEN)
3. Each team makes up a secret new rule and tells it to all members of their own team.
4. Every player who’s been assigned the colour of another team learns the secret rule made up by that team but, as per the rules below, IS NOT ALLOWED to tell his/her teammates. In other words, every rule is known by at least one person on every team, but no one person knows all the rules.
5. Every player gets a whistle, and the ball is placed in the centre of the field.
6. Every team lines up behind its own goal.
7. When all teams are lined up, a designated person or persons shout “GO!”, at which point gameplay starts.
Core rules:
1. The game ends as soon as 12 or more points have been scored.
2. Your team gains a point whenever someone gets the ball into your goal during gameplay.
3. The winning team(s) is/are the one(s) with the FEWEST points at the end of the game. (Hence, it is possible for more than one team to win.)
4. When holding the ball, you may not take more than three steps, at which point you may not move from the spot. (Like in handball or basketball)
5. When someone scores on your team, your team gets to make a new secret rule.
6. Aside from making sure everyone on your team understands the new secret rule you just made up together and the procedure outlined in the set-up, YOU MAY NOT TELL ANYONE ANY OF THE RULES FROM THE MOMENT THE GOALS ARE FIRST SET UP UNTIL THE END OF THE GAME. In addition to the regular penalty (see below), any player who breaks this rule must sit out for two minutes of play.
7. There is no talking during gameplay except when required by the rules or during a Point of Order.
8. When a whistle has been blown, Point of Order begins, and everyone must sit down. No goals may be scored and no one may stand up until someone blows a second whistle, ending the Point of Order.
9. You may begin a Point of Order only to call a penalty, after a goal has been scored so a new secret rule can be made, or while play is stopped (eg. the ball rolled onto a busy street, etc.).
10. Penalties are called as follows “Penalty – [state thing the person did wrong – eg. “Talking during play”; “Four steps taken”; “Failure to dance like chicken upon stepping in hula hoop]”.
11. A penalty is awarded as follows: after ending the Point of Order in which the penalty was called, the player who called the penalty is given the ball close enough to take a shot at the goal of the offending team. All other players may stand wherever they wish, and the player with the ball need not actually take a shot.
12. If a penalty is called incorrectly, another player may respond with “Bad call!”. As long as no rules are revealed, this can be disputed during the Point of Order. If it is agreed that the penalty was indeed called incorrectly, the player who called “Bad call!” takes the penalty on the team whose member called the original penalty. If not, the player who called the original penalty make take that penalty on the team of the original offender.
13. NO DELIBERATE VIOLENCE.
Rules about making rules:
1. Rules must be equally applicable to all teams.
LEGAL RULE: Every time you kick the ball, you have to do a jumping jack.
ILLEGAL RULE: Every time anyone named James touches the ball, he has to do a jumping jack. (*** Actually, legal if and only if either every team has the same number of players named James or no team has a player named James.)
2. Rules can only modify, not directly contradict, any existing or future rule.
ILLEGAL RULE: Actually, you can take as many steps as you want while holding the ball.
LEGAL RULE: You can take only three steps while holding the ball unless you are also holding the hand of someone on another team, in which case you can take as many steps as you want.
ILLEGAL RULE: All rules made from now on are void.
LEGAL RULE: All rules made from now on do not apply to anyone doing the YMCA dance at the time of the foul.
And that’s it! Of course, there are many strategic realities that aren’t rules per se. Like…
– if something isn’t explicitly specified in the rules (substitutions, going behind the goals, using all that lovely wacky sports equipment you just brought), you can handle it any way you want, and no other team can stop you (unless they make a rule about it)
– if you’re mean to the other teams, they’re going to gang up on you, and you’ll probably lose
– it probably suits you to be as vague as possible about broken rules while calling a penalty. Eg. “Penalty – failure to shout ‘EUREKA'” is just as legal as “Penalty – failure to shout ‘EUREKA’ upon catching the ball” and a lot more useful
If you play the Sport or want to play the Sport, please let me know! Any comments, suggestions, questions, or even photos are welcome, unless they are “Sarah, please don’t make us play this at your next birthday party”!