10 Things I Learned During 2012

This year, I feel like there are so many things I learned about myself and the world that I can’t put them all in a list of the most important. And some are kind of personal, so I don’t really want to share them — at least, not in the form of list-bytes rather than the underlying soul of a story. But here’s my best shot:

1. I don’t have to do things that don’t make me excited and happy. Because no one but me is holding a metaphorical gun to my head until I finish that video game I bought because it had great reviews but don’t really enjoy playing. Or making me do a favour that would be great to do and make both me and the other person feel good but that I just can’t handle at the moment.

Admittedly, sometimes it’s difficult to figure out the difference between “things that don’t make me excited and happy” and “things that would make me excited and happy, if I weren’t scared.” And sometimes, I need to do things that don’t make me excited and happy right now so I can continue doing things that make me excited and happy in the future. But I’m surprised by how few of the former are really necessary for the latter.

2. Two monitors are pretty f***ing amazing if you work with computers. Weeeeell, I was saving this one for the soul of a novel, but I guess I’ll tack it on here. Seriously, it makes revising, marking, editing, etc. so much easier. In fact, this year has been pretty computer-tastic; I learned of all sorts of great, free services and software that work for me. And I managed to rearrange my desk so it doesn’t hurt my bad arm or my neck.

3. How to make a soufflé. Or maybe, cookbooks are lies. Making soufflés was way easier than I was led to believe. They just required patience and an electric beater. Except I also discovered that I don’t really like soufflés all that much. Live and learn.

4. This is what makes me comfortable or uncomfortable as a Jew at Christmas, and I should apply it to situations where I am the one with privilege.

It is this:

ME: That situation makes me uncomfortable.
THE ANSWER THAT WILL PROBABLY MAKE ME MORE UNCOMFORTABLE: Well, it shouldn’t.
THE ANSWER THAT WILL PROBABLY MAKE ME COMFORTABLE: Oh, OK. You know how you feel.

(and if the speaker really wants me to join in: So, what would it take to make you feel comfortable? [protip: for me, it is often just asking this and actually wanting to know the answer])

5. What is inside an SNES controller. I was surprised by how simple the components were when the one I got for my sister for her Wii kind of broke, and we spent a good amount of time trying to take it apart. (Thank you, Nate, for finally succeeding!)

6. I don’t really mind wearing dresses. What I mind is being forced to wear dresses — like they’re the only way I can possibly look attractive or beautiful. Although I like looking nice when I dress up, I’d like to think I also look nice when I’m in clothes that make me feel comfortable. I realize that sometimes I want to buy everyday skirts not because I’ll ever feel like wearing them ever, but because I wish I could get people to see me as possessing the same elegant femininity as my friends who do. Only I don’t want to look like them, because they’re them, and I’m not. I want to look like me.

7. I can’t be bothered with stories that can’t be bothered with me. Life is too short. If they’re really awesome, fine: maybe. I do like really awesome stories and am willing to make exceptions. But I’m done with living someone else’s fantasy life where I am an object, a prize, or a plot point. There’s a growing minority of fantastic stories where I don’t have to, so I’m not going to stop pointing out the problems where I see them. Thanks to those new stories, I know everyone can do better, and I won’t settle for less.

8. I can’t have a hat with a feather in it for my doctoral convocation. In fact, there were no hats at all! Boo!

9. I stop watching a season of Dexter as soon as whom he’s dating gets more attention than whether he gets caught or whom he kills. I realized that in the middle of this season when I had absolutely no interest in watching the show as soon as there was a sex scene. And I thought back to why I stopped watching during season 2 and realized it was all about the annoying plot with the Lila character. I managed through the season 5 thing, but that was only because I cared more about how Dexter would finally confront Jonny Lee Miller’s character. It didn’t take over the show.

10. Multivitamins are necessary for my health. Just mine, you understand. Not necessarily yours. No matter how well my mom eats, she gets a sort of malaise and picks up all the seasonal pathogens if she doesn’t take a daily vitamin. Looks like I’m the same way — even after a few days of vitamins, I felt much better and was way happier at the gym. Guess I come by it honestly.

That’s it for me — what about you? Have a safe and happy New Year’s Eve, and see you in 2013!