C’est l’Hallowe’en!

After last week’s big old long post about criticism, I figured I’d like to get back in the not-tl;dr-post game. But what to write about? Then I remembered: c’est l’Hallowe’en!

Everyone knows that Hallowe’en is a time to dress up, get candy, and have fun. There’s no greater moral to be learned here (unless it’s “OK, kids, you can take candy from strangers, but ONLY when you’re pretending to be BATMAN.”). Hallowe’en simply isn’t an educational holiday… or at least, it wasn’t, until now.

Here are some lessons I learned this Hallowe’en:

1.

If part of your costume involves putting fake blood on your hands, do that after you put everything else together.

2.

I really hope stage blood comes out of tea towels…

3.

… and shoes…

4.

… because it doesn’t come off skin. :(

5.

Safety pins and chains are good for holding things on and making cravats out of handkerchiefs, but not so good for getting-out-of-costume-when-night-is-over.

6.

Scissors do not like to stay in belts by themselves.

7.

Darken your eyes with black make-up, take a shower, and then look in the mirror. If your first thought is “Darn, it didn’t come off!” and your second is “Whoops, no, that’s not the make-up!”, it’s time to call it a night.

8. Likewise, if you’re going to pick a place not to wear your glasses (and you can’t wear contacts), probably a bad choice is “a party in a darkened room with really loud music where almost everyone is wearing masks and/or face paint”.

9.

Wearing fake blood will cause your electronic lock to break. Evidence: 364/364 days of not wearing fake blood, door works fine. 1/1 days of wearing fake blood, battery dies, RA is unable to reprogram, key is useless until Monday. QED.

10.

When you dress as Sweeney Todd, all your photos look emo.

Happy Hallowe’en!