Mulder and Scully and the Moonlighting Problem

So there I was, happily returning home from two weeks off-the-network at the cottage, when my boyfriend dropped a break-up bombshell.

Uh, not our break-up. We’re still together.

No, it’s worse than that.

Mulder and Scully are no longer a couple.

I know you’ll need a minute or two to process that. It’s OK if you want to stop scrolling down in order to collect yourself.

Personally, I’m devastated. Why?

Well, a little because I’m invested in these two characters and their relationship, though actually the UST  that was overpowering when I was a teenager seems less imperative to my adult eyes. But mainly because I was invested in the idea of The X Files reboot this January treading new ground, a new conspiracy for a new zeitgeist.*

Fine, you’re right, I overgeneralized: more specifically, my hopes for the new miniseries are devastated.

Simply put, I’m season-one-Scully levels of skeptical that miniseries will treat the break-up in an interesting way and not as another step in the endless will-they-won’t-they dance whose continuation past its natural expiration date I dread.

There’s a reason will-they-won’t-they plots are so popular. They are a lot of fun. Like any good shipper, I enjoyed the MSR moments through seasons 1 to 7 and even in 8 and 9. Heck, catching a snippet of banter in “Small Potatoes” was what got me into the show in the first place. I was disappointed by the lack of a cathartic Yay! They Will! moment, but it’s pretty clear that Mulder and Scully Will and they Did. That plotline is over.

Because it was so fun, I understand the impulse to extend it. It’s like a little kid shouting, “Again!”

But here’s the thing: you can’t extend romantic tension that way. “Once more, with (a little less) feeling” doesn’t cut it when it comes to emotionally engaging an audience.

If you’re writing a story in which a romance features, you’re therefore stuck with a dilemma. One the one hand, you can’t keep the high-tension will-they, won’t-they part going forever; people will get annoyed if you Ross-and-Rachel it to death. On the other, you still need some kind of narrative tension in your story, and resolving one of the most compelling plotlines is going to leave you with a dearth of it.

As I see it, you’re left with one of four options:

1. End the story.

If the relationship was so important that the story can’t go on without it, maybe the story should end when everyone gets together? After all, there’s a reason the weddings are in the final act of Shakespearean comedies and the phrase “…and they lived happily ever after. THE END.” is a cliche.

But if there’s more plot to be had (or, cynically, more seasons to squeeze out of a TV show), then just wrapping up isn’t viable.

2. Shift the happy couple to the background.

In the sequels to Diana Wynne Jones’s Howl’s Moving Castle, we catch glimpses of Howl and Sophie. These glimpses are rewarding — they’re obviously still in love and obviously still driving each other up the wall, but we don’t see enough of them to get bored of their drama.

Focussing on another set of characters lets us maintain our engagement with the romantic couple we care about — and the tension in their relationship — without boring us through familiarity.

Of course, this only works when the rest of the characters and story are engaging too. I don’t think many of us would be happy if the new miniseries had Mulder and Scully hopping in only once or twice an episode. Howl and Sophie manage it because they resolved the plot that got them together in the first book: they defeated the witch and broke her curse on Sophie. Jones introduces interesting other protagonists (Abdullah, Charmain) and new situations that are the glue of the sequels.

But Mulder and Scully still haven’t resolved the main plot of their series: the alien/Consortium conspiracy is still out there, still threatening humanity. Their non-romantic story isn’t over yet. They can’t be shunted.

3. Break them apart. Then have them get back together. Then apart. Then together. Then — (etc.)

This is what I really hope the miniseries doesn’t do.

It seems reasonable: hey, these characters had lots of interesting relationship tension when they weren’t a couple. Now that they are a couple, that tension’s disappeared. Solution: make them not a couple again! Repeat as necessary! Hooray!

The problem is, repetition for no good reason quickly makes the audience bored. It’s not easy to keep breaking up the characters for reasons that feel organic and interesting. It’s possible — perhaps the root of their break-ups is the clearly defined problem between them, and the audience feels a sense of progress towards its resolution with each new development. But more often, it’s a case of “Oh, you liked it once? Bet you’ll like it again!”

When I start to wonder when the showrunners rather than the characters will finally give in, it’s a sign the plot is losing me.

4. Find new things that are interesting about their relationship.

No bones about it, this is the most difficult option. There’s a reason most romantic stories end with the characters finally deciding to be a couple rather than halfway through their marriage.

But when it’s done well, it’s brilliant to watch or read.

For example, the character arcs of Mr. and Mrs. Incredible are no less moving just because they’re already married and seem likely to stay that way. Star Trek: Deep Space Nine had some cool stuff post Kira and Odo’s will-they-won’t-they that focussed on Odo’s struggle to figure out what it means to be a shapeshifting Founder. In Imperial Radch series, a beloved dies early in the story, but the emotional repercussions of that event shape the non-romantic plot for the rest of the series.

Besides, friendship pairs like Kirk and Spock or Holmes and Watson are seldom in danger of “breaking up,” but watching them bring their different takes to the table, argue, and cooperate is still tense. Couples can shift from intense romantic potential to strong friendship conflict without losing what’s most interesting about their dynamic.

In real life, couples have to deal with many stressful, urgent, yet non-break-up-plausible issues. Watching couples work through them — or even more epic problems, depending on the story universe — together can be compelling. And just like in real life, feeling like a relationship is broken unless you can recapture the intensity of the start of it is a recipe for disaster.

So, Mulder and Scully, I wish you all the best, I really do. But I hope your break-up sidesteps the pitfalls of long-running-show-itis and metamorphoses into something more interesting than Messiah babies. Otherwise, you may have a new x file: the supernaturally sudden end of me caring about your relationship.

* Don’t hate on me for using fancy high-scoring Scrabble words! They started it!