Critique Groups: An FAQ for My Younger Self and Everyone Like Her

Dear younger self and others,

You’ve decided to join a critique group? More than one? I’m so glad!

Joining a critique group is one of the most important steps to improving your writing to publishable quality. The opinions of readers who are also fellow writers can show you the weak points in your manuscript and give you confidence about the strong ones. And you can learn plenty from reading their work. Plus, having a writing community is fantastic.

But I know critique groups and partnerships can be confusing for those entering them for the first time. You must have plenty of questions about the do’s and don’ts of critiquing.

So here, just for you, is my FAQ from… the FUTURE (dun dun dunnnnn!).

Q: I found a million things wrong with my critique partner’s sub. Why isn’t he happy?

A: Did you also find the things that worked in the sub? Analysis isn’t just about finding what went wrong; it’s also being able to identify and praise something that went right. And most people like to hear about those latter things more than a laundry list of their failures.

Q: What do I do if someone doesn’t like my critique?

A: Well, you could treat your critique like any other piece of writing. Go over it and review your phrasing. Did you focus on the work, not the author? Did you use inflammatory language? Is your tone respectful?

Q: No, I mean, I gave them this great advice, but they didn’t take it.

A: Their work is their work. Your work is yours. If you wrote their story, it’d be a different story. Maybe they want to write the story you aren’t into.

Q: But they’re wrong!

A: This is the Internet. You’re wrong too. Live with it.

Q: My critique group member who totally isn’t as talented/hardworking/cute as me just got an agent/a book deal/A MILLION DOLLARS for their manuscript. What is wrong with the publishing industry???

A: Nothing. (Well, at least, not that.) Not everyone has the same taste as you.

Q: But I feel jealous!

A: That’s an okay thing to feel.

Q: It is?

A: Sure. You can feel jealous of someone else succeeding in an area where you work hard. Just remember that you can feel proud of them and happy for them at the same time. Any jealousy you have is your own business; don’t let it get in the way of being a good friend and crit partner.

Q: I just joined my first critique group(s), and none of the other group members “gets” my story. They’re too old/young/like my mom. They criticize so much when I know my MS is literally the best ever. Should I leave and find better people?

A: There is a 90% chance you are this guy. Critique groups are about listening to the reader’s point of view and considering it with respect, even if you intuitively disagree. Don’t join one if you’re not ready to do that. And chances are, if this is your first critique group, you should give their criticism serious consideration. Try out the suggestions in a different file or notebook. It’s not going to magically erase the old draft that you like.

Q: My critique group member just criticized me on something that’s intentional. Should I explain in detail why her critique doesn’t apply?

A: No.

Q: I think I’m gonna explain to her in detail.

A: Please don’t do that.

Q: But–

A: If she doesn’t, there’s a chance that your readers might not either. Are you going to explain to each one of them in detail too?

Q: But my readers will be smarter!

A: She’s smarter too. She’s just coming at your story from a different place than you are. Anyway, if you argue against every major critique you get, your critique group may feel like you’re getting defensive. Nobody wants to critique someone who’s going to respond to every suggestion of change with a resentful essay. They might stop giving you negative feedback, which is what you’re coming to critique group to hear, isn’t it?

Q: …

A: What?

Q: … I kind of just want them to tell me my writing’s perfect.

A: Yeah, secretly, we all do sometimes. But it isn’t. And that’s not their fault, that’s on us. And without them telling us where it falls apart, our writing will never get better.

Q: I just read my critique partner’s latest sub, and even though she hasn’t read my next chapters, we included the same plot twist/metaphor/phrase! Is she going to think I’m stealing from her? Will the rest of the group?

A: Maybe. But hopefully, if you’re in a healthy group (and you aren’t actually in the habit of constantly stealing from other members), everyone will know it’s a coincidence. You can mention it if it worries you.

Q: What if I’m subconsciously stealing from her and don’t know it?

A: You are not.

Q: No, seriously.

A: Nothing you write is 100% original. Almost everyone learns to write by mimicking writers they admire, whether published professionals or writing peers. Yes, you might not even know you’ve done it unless you look back years later once you’ve established your own voice. Or maybe you and your critique partners are influenced by the same sources.

It doesn’t matter. You are never going to write something that doesn’t draw from everything and everyone that came before. What matters is that you write the story only you can write — the ideas that move you, in the way that moves you, with the words that speak to you personally.

After all, there is no element of even Harry Potter that you can’t find somewhere else. What made J. K. Rowling’s stories exceptional was the way she put everything together and presented it.

Q: I love my critique group, but there’s this one member, and he just will not let up on a piece of advice I don’t want to take. We really disagree on this one thing. It’s getting so I dread bringing my work to the group. What do I do?

A: Critique groups are valuable both professionally and personally. You can learn a lot about writing and make great friends. However, if you find that belonging to a group, no matter what benefits you get from it, is damaging your mental health, it’s okay to take a break or find a different group. It doesn’t make you unprofessional.

Or your uncomfortable feelings might not be at that stage. In that case, you can bring up the issue privately with this critique partner and/or your group moderator. Disagreement can be fruitful and cordial.

tl;dr

Q: My critique group sometimes doesn’t make me feel like I’m the most special, talented writer in the world! Even though I know I am! Wait… what if I’m not?

A: You are not. And that’s okay. Give yourself the emotional space you need, but aim to get better, and respect what others have to say. Trust that they will be generous to you, and be generous back to them.

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