Three things I feel like sharing today

1. I found this essay on Harry Potter and (erroneously expressed) Calvinism pretty interesting. And entertaining. Now, I’m not saying you’d enjoy going and reading it, but, for Pete’s sake, I went to the trouble of figuring out how to post a link and all, didn’t I?

2. Spanish flu. Just kidding! (If you didn’t get that, you may have skipped the title. Or maybe you just have a more mature sense of humour.) Um… oh, yeah, I remember what the second thing *really* was: I picked up the book Beau Geste by P. C. Wren, expecting it to be just a little boring because of the old-school cover and early-1900s publishing date, but I really like it. And, somehow, it manages to skirt much of the racism and stuff you’d expect to find in a book of that era about white soldiers in Africa.

3. So. Repentance. For those of you who don’t know, I’m Jewish, and, until about 7:57 pm this evening, it was Yom Kippur. This translates roughly and conventionally to “Day of Atonement”. Many observant Jews spend the day fasting (no food or drink), going to synagogue (aka shul), and not doing work (no writing, using anything electric, driving, etc.). The idea is, the new Jewish year started ten days ago. By then, you were supposed to review your behaviour of the previous year and make a specific committment to spiritual and moral improvement. But, in case you didn’t, you have an extension. And you better believe this counts toward your final report.

Right. Backslash infodump.

So, naturally, I have spent much of my day (well, week, actually) pondering the Jewish idea of repentance. Or at least, the Jewish idea of repentance as I see it, since there are many mainstream traditions of Judaism, and far be it from me, a self-identified humanist, to speak authoritatively for any of them. I’m also not trying to compare it to that of other faiths; I’m not a theologian or student of world religions and am thoroughly aware that I am better equipped to discuss the Banach-Tarski Paradox than aspects of Catholicism or Islam. So, if you don’t have your grain of salt with you, now is the time to go and get it.*

The thing I like best about the Jewish idea of repentance is one I was taught in the early years of Hebrew school: repentance is not just about you feeling sorry. That’s still important, but it’s like the first step on a flight of stairs. You’ve got to get on it if you want to climb further, and you’re certainly higher off the ground than you were to start, but, in the end, the point of a flight of stairs is to aim for the top.

Repentance, in Judaism, is about the three-way relationship between you, your fellow human beings, and God. The idea is not to see you escape from punishment – “prayer, penitence, and good deeds” mitigate, not cancel “the severity of the decree” – but to lead you becoming a responsible person able to improve both yourself and the community around you. If you, say, steal your friend’s car or humiliate an enemy in front of a crowd, it’s not just God you owe an apology. You’ve got to bite the bullet and ask forgiveness from your hapless victim, too. Which, if you struggle with belief or are less-theist, more-doubting like me, is a much scarier prospect: it’s pretty easy for me to think how sorry I am in the privacy of my head or during silent-prayer part of the service. It’s a different matter altogether to stand face-to-face with the person I’ve hurt or pick up the phone and dial that number.

Vidui is the part of the liturgy in which all members of the congregation rise and publicly confess their sins as a group. The prayers are standardized, and, yeah, it’s difficult to take it seriously when the translation of an alphabetical acrostic suggests we are “xenophobic”, “yield to evil impulses”, and have “zeal for bad causes”. But I like the idea behind it – that, first of all, it is the business of your peers whether you’ve sinned because it is also their responsibility to help you on your mission of repentance, should you choose to accept it**; and, second, that only by going beyond one’s embarrassment at having sinned is it possible to rectify the situation that brought about the sins in the first place.

Which brings us to the concept I really, really, really like. Repentance is not like recovering from taking a nasty fall: Band-aid on, scraped knee heals, Band-aid off. It’s like recovering from addiction: to accomplish it, you have to make a lasting change in the way you live. An ex-heroine junkie’s goal isn’t to feel really sorry for using heroine in the past or even just to never shoot up again: it’s to make a new life, one that can support a drug-free future. Similarly, if you, I don’t know, call your brother “stupid”, it’s not enough to apologize. It’s still not enough to stop calling him “stupid”. You have to recognize that, in calling him “stupid”, you neglected the responsibility you have to yourself and those around you to foster a supportive, loving community. So, not only should you stop calling him “stupid”, you should start praising him for his accomplishments and offering constructive criticism.

It’s like the way I feel about TV shows like “Ten Years Younger” or “What Not To Wear”. Sure, in that forty-five minutes between the beginning of the show and the end, we see a plain, unhappy person transformed by the magic of fashion and make-up into a pretty, happy picture of contentment. But is that really a long-term solution to whatever problem prompted him or her to come on the show in the first place? It’s like treating a broken arm by pumping it full of painkillers and neglecting a cast. I believe it’s possible to change, but only if you’re willing to live and think differently, not just now, but for the rest of your life. Like, if you want to feel healthier, you can’t go on a crash diet and lose fifty pounds. You’ve got to make a permanent commitment to eating well and getting exercise.

Is it easy? No. If it’s a flight of stairs, I’m sure not past step one or two. In fact, I’m not sure I’m not still on the Stair Master at the gym: stepping and stepping and getting no higher, ’cause I’m still not sure where to put my feet. I don’t think not achieving repentance is something to blame people for, but I do think that working towards it is something to admire.

So, in frivolous conclusion, this may be yet another reason why the Harry Potter series doesn’t work for me. (See, and you thought I was going to end with something profound!)

*On the other hand, if you do wish to discuss the Banach-Tarski Paradox, press one. For anything else, stay on the line.
** This prayerbook will self-destruct.